Individual and Relationship Counseling, Psychotherapy

 Ronald W. Tallman, M.Th. ,   Director


                                                         When You Need an Experienced Guide to Assist You


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Men's Issues

Mid-Life Awakening 





















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Men's Issues

Many men in America today

        . . . have been raised by women.  Father was at work or absent. 

            . . .  have attended schools where the teachers, counselors and administrators were predominantly women.

                    . . .  have grown up with few live male role models.

                          . . . have learned what it means to be a man by watching men on television or in movies,

                               . . . have used actors, sports heroes, musicians, and singers as their primary role models.

The first time many boys get to be around an adult man is when they take up a sport. Coaches are often the first to teach boys how to become men.

Most men in America tend to fall into two camps. The first camp  is composed of those who continually seek to be obedient to the women in their lives: at work, at home, in public.  Often they don't know what they are doing. They just try to please women.  They don't like it when women are angry, and will sell their soul to calm an upset woman.

The second group is defiant.  They are the bad boys: scorning women at every turn, calling them demeaning names, using women for their pleasure and discarding them whenever they please.

There is a third group which is relatively small and not very vocal.  They do not define themselves by the women around them.

Some of the men in this group were blessed by having a kind and powerful father figure who loved them, guided them and stood beside them through childhood and adolescence.  A father who did not seek to please every whim of his wife, sons  or daughters.  A man with strength and vision who provided for the family, took responsibility for the finances of the family, and properly protected them from harm. 

But the majority of this last group learned amount manhood in a different way. They did not have the blessing of a great father to guide them. These men learned about being a man after they became adults.  Some of them learned by sitting with other men, exploring what it meant to be a man.  Some of them drummed and danced.  Some of them sought male mentors. 

Most of them had to come to terms with the aching absence of a loving, kind and powerful father figure.  And they began to face the pain of that absence. They began to face the pain of other hurts and failures in life. They  began to face their attempts to numb that pain through alcohol, drugs, risk taking, crime, sex, compulsive work, compulsive exercise, compulsive competition.

And gradually they began to experience a healing in their souls.  They no longer needed affirmation from men or women in their lives.  They gradually became true men: taking responsibility for their lives and the lives of those closest to them.  They became men of quiet power and decisiveness.

Our goal is to help the men who come to us join this third group: men of inner power and responsibility.

If this page resonates with you, give us a call at 303-369-8877.  There is no charge for a fifteen minute initial evaluation discussion on the phone.





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Last modified: November 14, 2011  12:05 p.m.