Many men in America today
. . . have been raised
by women. Father was at work or absent.
. . . have attended schools where the teachers, counselors and
were predominantly women.
. . . have grown up with few live male role models.
. . . have learned what it means to be a man by watching men on television
or in movies,
. . . have used actors,
sports heroes, musicians, and singers as their primary role models.
The first time many boys get to be around an adult man
is when they take up a sport. Coaches are often the first to teach boys how
to become men.
Most men in America tend to fall into two camps. The
first camp is composed of those who continually seek to be obedient to
the women in their lives: at work, at home, in public. Often they
don't know what they are doing. They just try to please women.
They don't like it when women are angry, and will sell their soul to calm an
The second group is
defiant. They are the bad boys: scorning women at every
turn, calling them demeaning names, using women for their pleasure and
discarding them whenever they please.
There is a third group which is relatively small and
not very vocal. They do not define themselves by the women around
Some of the men in this group were blessed by having a
kind and powerful father figure who loved them, guided them and stood beside
them through childhood and adolescence. A father who did not seek to
please every whim of his wife, sons or daughters. A man with
strength and vision who provided
for the family, took responsibility for the finances of the family, and
properly protected them from harm.
But the majority of this last group learned amount
manhood in a different way. They did not have the blessing of a great father
to guide them. These men learned about being a man after they became adults.
Some of them learned by sitting with other men, exploring
what it meant to be a man. Some of them drummed and danced. Some
of them sought male mentors.
Most of them had to come to terms with the
aching absence of a loving, kind and powerful father figure. And
they began to face the pain of that absence. They began to face the pain of
other hurts and failures in life. They began to face their attempts to numb that pain
through alcohol, drugs, risk taking, crime, sex, compulsive work,
compulsive exercise, compulsive competition.
And gradually they began to experience a
healing in their souls. They no longer needed affirmation from men or
women in their lives. They gradually became true men: taking
responsibility for their lives and the lives of those closest to them.
They became men of quiet power and decisiveness.
Our goal is to help the men who come to us join this
third group: men of inner power and responsibility.
If this page resonates with
you, give us a call at 303-369-8877. There is no charge for a fifteen minute initial evaluation
discussion on the phone.